I'm Weary

"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11:28

I'm tired. Tired of spinning plates. Tired of trying to live life in the fast lane. I'm tired of being out of breath and overextended. I'm worn out from longing for a better way. I'm weary of striving to slow down and breathe. Exhausted from the heaviness my soul tries its hardest to bear.  

I'm so ready to just push pause, stop, and refocus. 

One of my many faults is that I attempt to solve my challenges and difficulties by either taking it upon my self to do it all, or listening to diagnoses offered by others.

I have a serious case of pride. If left unchecked, it takes control and moves me in places I don't belong. When my pride is running amuck and I'm faced with challenges or difficulties, pride takes over and shifts my internal gear into "get it done mode." When there, I assume complete responsibility for solving all of my challenges or difficulties, and I reason I'm more than capable of finding solutions. 

If I run out of my own solutions, my next attempt is to turn to others and get their input. I will research and dig and discover and read and listen to everything there is to find on solving a particular challenge or difficulty. If someone says do this, I'll do it. If I read to go here, I'll go. Whatever I find that might offer solutions I'm going to try. 

While these two approaches to solving my challenges and difficulties are not inherently bad, to be honest, they've left me completely exhausted. I'm tired of trying to do things on my own, and it seems that these attempts never provide the deep and permanent healing my soul craves.

The healing I ache for comes only from One source. In Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus offers a summons to those exhausted from trying. He says, 

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Jesus is the only remedy for my diseased soul. He and He alone provides the rest my soul desires. I simply have to do two things -

First, I must simply come to Him and receive His rest. 

I imagine this means that each day - for me it means each moment throughout my day - I must bring Him all my burdens and joys, hopes, dreams, and plans. I must be willing to lay these things before Him. This requires I stop. Pause. Listen. I also must receive the rest He provides by my simply coming, and deeply breathe in knowing He profoundly cares for everything I bring to Him. 

Second, I must receive His yoke, and learn from Him. 

I suppose this implies that as I come to Him each day, I make a renewed profession of my daily, living faith and embrace His Gospel - the Great Good News of what He's accomplished for me - afresh. Each day - or moment by moment in my case - as I submit my life to the plans He has for me, I will learn a new way of being and doing that is filled with gentleness and humility. This modus vivendi (way of life) is immensely different than my modus operandi (way of operating), yet the impact is transformational. 

I'm weary today, and it's been just an ordinary day. But in this moment I choose to stop. To come to Him and receive what He longs to give me. To  renew, once again, my commitment to Him and listen as He teaches. 

Today, I respond simply by coming, receiving, and learning from Him. In living this new way of life, I will find rest for my soul.